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  • Rebecca Hogan

3 steps to work out why you're not taking time out for you


Have you ever stopped to really think about why you're not taking time out for yourself?


Why aren't you able to relax and do the things you really love to do?

I didn't work out what was stopping me for years.

  • I knew I wanted to do more exercise but I never got around to doing it.

  • I knew I was feeling tired and achy because I needed to move my body more but I still found each day passed and I didn't do it

  • A colleague of mine that was keen to go running with me after work years back said, "you can do it. Its your mind that's stopping you." I knew what she meant but I still didn't do anything about it.


I just felt stuck. It felt hard to do.

Was I just choosing not to do it? Was I struggling to prioritise it? I had no idea!

Can you relate?


Is there something you'd like to do?

Something you mean to do each day or each week but then find the time has passed and you've still not done it?

Here’s 3 steps to work out what's really stopping you from taking time out for yourself

Let's find a way forward so you can start to do the things you love so you feel like you're living your life rather than just getting through all the chores.


Step 1 - Think about why you’re not doing it?

  • Does it feel hard? You’re not sure you can manage it physically e.g running?

  • Is it time? There's lots of other things to do and the time gets eaten away?

  • Is it guilt? How can I take that time out when I’ve not done blah blah blah.

  • Is it others expectations? Or what others may be thinking about you that is bothering you?

Activity 1 - Journal on these questions. Take some time to think about this. Write down your thoughts. When we write things down our minds process our thoughts differently. It's really powerful. Give it a go and see.


Step 2 - Ask yourself what’s really stopping you

Read and consider each of the points below:

  • Stories you tell yourself. Do you hear yourself say... I’ll do it later, I’ll do it tomorrow. It’s not as important as….., when I’ve done x then I’ll have time, brain power, the capacity to….

  • Fears of what others may think or what could go wrong e.g hurt myself, late for something, may be too tired later.

  • Memories of what others have done or said or have implied e.g parents, partners, school teachers - what would x say, y would do z first. That’s not me. That’s not who I am. I can’t do that.

Activity 2 -Do any of the above apply to you? Are they what's stopping you from taking time out to relax and do the things you love to do?


You need to overcome any patterns of behaviour, any stories you tell yourselves and any guilt you feel, in order to empower yourself to take time out for you.


Remember your why:

  • Your own well being is as important as your children's and your vibe affects the whole household. So you need to look after yourself as much as you look after others. Especially if you're a bit tired and grumpy or a bit of a shouty Mummy right now!

  • Making time for self care and self love is what will enable you to wake up excited each day and be the happy, present, patient mum your family deserves.

  • It's only when we are able to create the routines and habits that work for us, as well as our children and partners, that we thrive and feel really bonded as a happy household.


Does remembering your why help you feel more positive about taking some time out for yourself?

Step 3 - Work out how to overcome it

  • Surround yourself with facts of what has been stopping you and why that isn’t great for you or your children and partner. You and your family will benefit from you being the high vibe women who is happy with life, knowing you'll get to do the things you really love to do too.

  • Surround yourself with the people that tell you it’s important and do manage to do these things.

  • Make it a non negotiable/ no excuses - do it first thing before the chores and appointments, book in with someone, get your partner, Mum or a friend to turn up to take over and spur you on.

  • Create the new routines and habits and it may feel hard at first but it will soon start to feel more natural. It will start to feel like something you automatically do each day, like taking a shower.

Activity 3 - Start taking small steps to begin your new way of life. Do the thing you want to do even though it feels uncomfortable and hard right now. Know that it will get easier each time you do it.

Need help to go through all this?

Want a wing women to help you get into what is holding you back and stopping you from prioritising yourself and achieving your goals and dreams?

I’d love to help.


Claim your free 30 minute breakthrough call with me by clicking here.

I’ll help you to work out what’s going on for you. Let’s get you to take the time you need to be the Mum you want to be so you can really bond and thrive as a family.


Let’s be an example, a role model by showing our kids how to choose to be happy and live a life we love.


Not ready for a call yet? Come and hang out in my Facebook group Be Me and Mum