Charlene Bush: My personal journey after having my second child
"This time last year, I was having up to 30 seizures a day. I could barely move from the sofa/bed and I certainly couldn’t work or look after my own children. A year on and I am learning to go with the flow of life and accept that sometimes we need to change direction in order to stay aligned with our purpose. It brings me so much joy to share different ways of working with the body, to gain a better understanding of what it needs."
I interviewed my client Charlene Bush over on Instagram about her personal struggle and how coaching has helped her.
In our chat, we covered:
How motherhood and experiencing FND encouraged her to make time to look after herself more
How motherhood changes you and how you can use that to empower you to make positive change in your life
How great reading can be for personal growth and how the book Self love & Spiritual Alchemy helped Charlene realise she wanted to implement more self care
How having a coach really does help you get over what’s holding you back from making things happen.
How were you finding life after becoming a Mum for the second time?
It was unlike anything I'd ever experienced before.
I thought “I've done it once and I'll be fine. I know exactly what's happening and how babies work.” But it was the opposite and it completely threw me.
I really thought I'd be fine again as it was with number one. But the birth was mentally difficult. I needed to get over the trauma of the birth and she's such a different child too. So I was getting over the birth, in the tornado of having a new baby and I had a 2 year old who had to get used to not having all the attention now.
Why did you join my GYLBBB challenge?
I knew I needed something to help me to navigate what was going on. I had post natal depression and I was really struggling so I knew I needed something to help me get through the days. I really struggled and thought I was the only one going through it. No one gets it. Now I know to say to new Mums: “Whatever you're going through that's OK.”
What did you leave the GYLBBB challenge with?
I loved the challenge and I left the challenge with new tools to combat life and then I went back to work. I popped the Self Love book you recommended onto my wish list and my husband bought it for me. And when I started reading it, it landed perfectly with me.
Why did you then decide to join my Free Your Mind coaching course?
I was diagnosed with Functional Neurological Disorder and I had seizures, paralysis and my speech was affected. I knew I needed something new but I didn't know what. The more I researched into that the more I realised it is a real physical disorder but it's psychological too and I can control it. I need coaching to get out of my way and process it all as that's the only way I can get better. So I was more and more drawn to the course and working with you.
"It was a game changer. It literally changed my life."
Doing the course and approaching my motherhood journey in a different way is what helped me realise what was important and what wasn't, I liked that it was part self study and that I could work through it independently online because I wanted to do it on my own but I knew I needed support. And I know it's OK to ask for support - that's one of my lightbulbs from the course!!
The realisation that I wanted motherhood and everything that came with it but I wanted me back too. But I realised I was wanting the old me and I realised I wasn't that person anymore. I remember saying that it was like trying to fit myself into a mould that wasn't me anymore. I was desperately trying as teaching was all I'd known and I felt I had to go back into teaching. But it was that realisation that now I'm a Mum and I have different feelings and different attitudes now and then I realised that the old teacher me is not me anymore. I thought I had an open mind but I was quite closed off that I've trained in teaching and that's what I have to do. But then I realised that I don't have to do that. I can still teach but I can do it in a different way.
Once I had that realisation everything changed. I was calmer at home. I was able to take on more responsibility. Due to my FND I was living from a place of fear trying to prevent the seizures. but I realised I was able to start doing things but in a different way. I needed to change my career.
We went through beliefs and it was that one belief I had from age 15 that I needed to prove I could be a teacher to my teacher back then. But I realised it's just not me anymore. And that's OK and I don't have to keep doing it.
Motherhood is a time to reevaluate life.
What would you say to someone that is navigating motherhood or another life transition but isn't sure about joining the course?
Be honest with yourself. Ask yourself what you want and how you're going to get there. Because it's feasible but you need the confidence to take that first step. And for a lot of people it's asking for help and getting someone alongside to help support you on that journey. It's the step you never knew you needed to take. You think you can do it on your own. You don't know you need it until you take that step and do it. I think especially for Mums it's that guilt behind doing something for yourself and actually investing in yourself.
I was very back and forth in deciding to do the coaching. But I decided I deserve this. I deserve to be working on myself. I've had such a year. I've become a Mother. It's something completely new. We go through losing our identity in the early stages of motherhood. I deserve to have this opportunity to explore what I want to do moving forwards with someone that cares about me and my mental health.
It's not just about supporting and nurturing our children because you can't pour from an empty cup. It's tough and I struggle so much so I make sure to put my self care in now. Because I can't be the best Mum if I'm not looking after myself. If I'm not investing in myself because it actually gives me more energy if I'm not stuck in "that's just Mum life I have to push through".
When you have something for yourself it gives you that boost of energy that you need as a Mum. I love a self care Sunday to go for a walk, plan my meals for a week, sorting out my finances. It's all the little bits that you don't think you need. But it makes such a difference to how I feel.
And now where has this lightbulb taken you?
Because I realised teaching isn't what I want anymore I've been on courses in energy healing, Reiki and facials which I've always been drawn to. And I've started my wellness business. When I do a treatment it helps me drop into a meditative state so it's not even like working. It's so dreamy and relaxing. It's general wellness that I've realised is so important because I wasn't looking after myself. I got diagnosed with FND and I wasn't taking that time out for myself.
I encourage others now to book in self care and help people to do things daily, weekly and have things planned just for you that you enjoy and don't worry what others think. I want to prevent others going through what I went through. It's about doing the deeper work as well so I help others to take that time out for themselves now.
To watch the full interview, head over to my Instagram account:
You can follow Charlene at @charlene.bushx
To find out how coaching can help you download my free guide:
Master Your Mum Mojo, 6 Steps to Find Your Me and Feel Good in Motherhood