Life is so busy! It's easy to find you and the things you love to do have gone to the bottom of your To Do list. In fact it's super common for Mums to find they've fallen off their lists entirely!
It's not good to feel you're at the bottom of the pile!
As parents we are giving a lot of time and attention to our children. As much as we want to be there for them we also need to look after ourselves.
Self care helps us reduce symptoms of anxiety and reset our nervous system. All of which is good for our health, but also helps us to Thrive rather than just Survive, which makes us better parents.
We're more Patient, Nurturing, Inspiring and Fun Loving when we're feeling our Best!
I know it can feel super hard to fit it all in. Even if you're nodding in agreement, you may also be wondering how you actually do it in practice.
Laura and I are really looking forward to sharing our experiences and our opinions on self care with you in Episode 2 "What is Genuine Self Care?" on the Mumanist podcast. It goes live on the 4th April 2024 and you can listen on Apple podcasts here or Spotify here.
I find it helps Mums to know that there are 7 Types of Self Care
One persons self care may be another Mums hell and feel totally impossible.
The secret is to find what sounds AMAZING to you!
So you are Excited and Motivated to make it happen.
So I'll run through all the 7 types so you can have a think about what you feel called to try out. And then have a listen to the podcast for ideas and inspiration on how you can make time for it. Park those thoughts of How for just a few minutes!
Physical is the most recognised and socially encouraged form of self care. We're encouraged to get enough sleep, eat well, look good and exercise to stay healthy. So a hair cut, manicure, yoga class or going to the gym is a regular thing for some parents if they can afford it. But for others this can seem like a luxury that is out of reach financially or due to lack of time. There are a lot of free, inexpensive ways of looking after yourself physically with walks, exercise videos on You Tube, running, at home beauty treatments that you can fit in even when you're with the children if you need to. It feels good to take care of ourselves physically and it boosts our Self Esteem too. But there's so much more to Self Care and so much more we can do to support ourselves as parents.
Emotional - We need time to Rest and Replenish ourselves emotionally as well as physically. Learning about your emotions is really empowering. By getting curious with yours you can work through all the changes parenting has brought about for you, communicate better with your children and your partner and realise what limits and boundaries you need to set. It really helps to spend a few minutes in the shower or over a hot cuppa asking ourselves questions like: What do I need today? How do I want to show up today? What emotions do I want to experience today? Journaling is a popular tool for this too. Answering questions or just free writing helps you to process your thoughts, feelings and emotions.
Mental - We navigate so much change when we become parents. Our whole lives are affected by it. So it makes sense that we need some time and space not only to get the sleep and physical rest we need. But also to gain some clarity again. To process all the changes we're going through and work through how to adapt and cope with them is so important. Being able to approach parenting in a way that gives us the time and head space we need, rather than feeling and believing that taking time out just isn't possible or makes us lazy or selfish, is essential. It enables us to rise above muddling through and feeling bad about how we feel to being able to see opportunities, new ways of doing things and to feel positive about moving forward. We can accept ourselves as a person in the middle of evolving and growing into our new role as mother (and father) rather than feel lost and confused.
Social is about having time to nurture your relationships. Dates with your partner, time with your friends, games nights, movie nights with the kids. It also includes having wider family interactions and good support systems. Mum friends are so valuable. Helping each other out and making time to chat in person or on the phone rather than just messaging is so needed. And having time to be you rather than just Mum is important too.
Recreational, making time for fun, creativity and downtime including your hobbies and passions is a great way to relax and unwind.
Environmental, feeling comfortable in a supportive, peaceful home is amazing. Plants, aromatherapy, having our own workspace, Vision Boards and having time to detox digitally and declutter and organise our homes all helps us to feel more calm and comfortable so we can relax and replenish our energy reserves.
Spiritual - is about having a purpose, making life meaningful to us so we can feel our best self. You achieve this by exploring your Vision, you Values, your Beliefs and your Ideas. It's a journey of self exploration I love to take women on through my coaching program Free To Be Me. It's fabulous self development, it gives you a huge level of self acceptance but also helps you work out what matters most to you, what your dreams for life and your dream job is. How you can have closer bonds with those you love and be involved in social groups. It's all about living intentionally in a way that gives you that zest for life, helps you feel more present and really enjoy your everyday life.
I hope that by breaking down what self care can include you've worked out what you crave and might work best for you.
I strongly believe you need to try things that jump out and appeal most to you right now in this season and stage of life you're in.
Self Care is all about having something to look forward to and enjoy that makes us feel good. It shouldn't just be another thing we feel we have to do and tick off the to do list.
It's about feeling empowered to make more conscious choices concerning our lifestyle.
So now you know what you want to fit in, come and have a listen to Episode 2 "What is Genuine Self Care?" on the Mumanist podcast. It goes live on the 4th April 2024 and you can listen on Apple podcasts here or Spotify here.
We'll be talking about the Self care that works for us and how you can fit it in at each stage of your parenting journey.
And if you've listened and are still struggling to do things for you to boost your mood and feel happy and confident in your day to day life, do get in touch with me, Rebecca at hello@rebeccahogancoaching.com
I'd love to help you to talk it over and work through your situation. I have lots of experience helping women to uncover why they have difficulty taking time for them. Together we uncover what you need - new ideas, routines, habits or more support.
If you're not ready to email me yet you can download my FREE guide 6 Steps to Find Your Me and Feel Good In Motherhood