How to get over your working Mum Guilt

Guilt! Very few working Mums don't experience Mum guilt to some extent!

Logically you know why you're working but guilt can creep in with nagging thoughts of "I should be with my child right now!". Your logical brain knows that this guilt is unnecessary but the emotional angst is strong it over rides it.

The problem is that you're constantly receiving information on what you "should" be doing as a Mother! And so it can feel hard to stay confident in the decisions you've made.

You can easily fall into the trap of comparing yourselves to others and feeling judged.

So here's my 5 tips to help you strengthen your logical thoughts and confidently overcome the emotional pangs of guilt you've felt in the past:

1.Remember to be Realistic

No parent will be spending all day every day doing fun activities with their kids!

It's important to be realistic about this and stop beating yourself up due to those highlight reels you see on social media. Avoid scrolling if seeing just 2 minutes out of someone's full day brings up the guilty feelings for you.

2. Involve your children in their childcare arrangements

If you’re needing to work and are booking childcare, be that summer camps, play dates or time with family members it's good to ask your child what they would like to do and where they would like to go first.

If you can accommodate any of their suggestions before you make all the final arrangements it will help you to feel good about the plans you've made. 

3. Remember that your child is benefitting from the holidays and being well cared for wherever you've chosen for them to go

If they go to clubs they will gain social skills and have fun making new friends

Staying at home whilst you work helps them work on their independence and ability to entertain themselves. They also benefit from being able to relax at home.

Spending time with wider family creates core memories and improves their loving attachments.

Play date swaps work really well so they can see their school friends in the holidays too.

Wherever they go, you can talk to them about what they’d like to do. Arranging this in advance means your child can look forward to, for example, baking cakes with granny or going to the cinema with their friend. They'll know they're going to have fun.

You can pack their favourite toys or books too so they can get to enjoy themselves wherever they are this summer.

4. Make sure you get to make the most of your time off with your children

Planning ahead helps you to enjoy the moments you do have together.

Asking your child to make a physical list of ideas of things they’d like to do so you can book them in on your days off or for the evenings when you finish work works well. They can see they're getting to do the things they've chosen to do with you.

Making the most of the lighter evenings going to the park after tea or arranging to meet friends means you get to make the most of those pockets of time you do have. Staying up late to watch a movie, having a BBQ together, playing games or even having friends over are all super fun and not expensive either.

Enjoying quality time together means you don't feel guilty that you're missing out on time together.

5.Don't forget that you'll still need time to relax and be you too

Scheduling time for you at the start and the end of your day and choosing to do the things that help you to look after yourself physically, mentally and emotionally are important too.

This time helps you to be fully present and have the energy to look after and enjoy your children so you can navigate parenting with more ease and fun.

For me it’s a cup of tea and a read or a 10 min yoga practice to ease out the body aches and give me a calm start to the day. In the evening I tend to slip away after dinner, before bedtime to relax in my quiet bedroom, maybe I’ll catch up on my messages, maybe I’ll read again. 

What I’m enjoying is the quiet time with no demands being placed on me.

How can you make time for yourself and what is it that you enjoy most about that time?

Need some help to prioritise so you can find that time for you too?

I have a new free guide called Manage the Juggle and there's a summer version too

It includes a fab coaching exercise to help you prioritise all there is to do over the holidays. And it includes a summer planner and a daily and weekly planning sheet too.

You can access the "Manage The Juggle" guide here

I hope this blog and the guide help you to have a wonderful summer.

Do get in touch and let me know at [email protected]

Enjoy!

Rebecca