Why Summer Feels So Hard - Even When You Love Being With Your Kids
And how to shift it without losing your mind (or yourself)
You imagined slow mornings.
Coffees outside. Smiles in the sun.
A break from the school routine. A little more freedom. A lot more joy.
But summer shows up with a different energy.
And instead of barefoot ease and quality time, you feel…
overstimulated.
under-supported.
and somehow, like you’re doing it wrong.
You love being with your kids.
But if you're honest?
It’s a lot.
And if you're anything like the women I work with - you’re probably carrying it all silently, while wondering why it’s still so hard.
Here’s the truth:
It’s not about the snacks, or the shouting, or the lack of schedule.
It’s not even about summer itself.
It’s about how you see yourself inside your life — and what you believe you’re allowed to need.
Because most of us weren’t taught how to tend to ourselves and our families.
We were taught to get busy serving everyone else inside it.
So if you’re feeling the burnout creeping in - this is for you.
Here are 8 subtle summer traps that wear you down - and how to gently shift out of them.
1. Too-High Expectations
You planned the fun day out. Packed the bags. Organised it all to a tee.
But five minutes in, someone’s grumpy. Someone’s crying. And you’re gripping the steering wheel wondering why this doesn’t feel magical.
What’s really happening:
You’re equating your worth with how much everyone enjoys what you planned.
Shift the mindset:
Their mood is not a reflection of your worth as a woman. You’re allowed to offer the experience - and let them experience it just as they are - you can't force fun or joy!
Anchor in reality:
Swap “I want us all to have fun” → “I want us to have a day out together with space to be human.”
2. Trying to Do It All Yourself
You book the tickets.
Pack the lunches.
Carry the sun cream, the toys, the water bottles, the snacks and the emotional tone of the day.
What’s really happening:
You’ve absorbed the belief that if it doesn’t get done by you, it won’t get done properly.
Shift the mindset:
Letting go is not neglect. It’s leadership.
Ask. Involve. Share the load.
Anchor in action:
Let the kids pack their bags. Ask your partner to prep the snacks. Choose not to carry what others can.
3. Overplanning the Joy
Every day has an itinerary.
Every moment accounted for.
But by midweek, everyone’s tired. Including you.
What’s really happening:
You’re afraid that space will bring chaos. That if you’re not doing something, the kids will go feral, get bored, nag you non-stop, and you’ll spiral into guilt that you’re not doing enough.
Shift the mindset:
Unstructured time can feel scary - but it’s not dangerous. Let it be uncomfortable. Prove that nothing goes wrong.
Anchor in action:
Raid the cupboards for forgotten board games, activity books, half-used crafts. Set a timer. Let them take the lead. And remind yourself: you don’t need to be the fun factory every second.
4. Letting Guilt Run the Show
You’re sitting scrolling or maybe working on your laptop. Your mind is whirring. Comparing.
Thinking you’re not doing enough.
Not present enough. Not fun enough. Not mum enough.
What’s really happening:
You’re measuring yourself against a fantasy - not reality.
Shift the mindset:
Presence is not about perfection. It’s about showing up when it counts - not constantly.
Anchor in action:
Pick one meaningful moment a day to truly be with them.
Let that count.
5. Letting Go of All Routine
You wanted freedom. So you dropped structure.
But now the days feel chaotic, and everyone’s regulation is fraying.
What’s really happening:
You mistook routine for restriction - but kids (and you) thrive with rhythm.
Shift the mindset:
Structure doesn’t limit your summer. It holds it.
Anchor in action:
Create soft anchors:
Morning rituals (breakfast plated up and served your favourite way, with time for you to be you too)
Afternoon rhythm (quiet time for rest or play)
Evening wind-down (dinner with screen-off family time)
6. Going Solo
You want connection.
But organising playdates, planning family days, scheduling time with friends feels like more mental load.
What’s really happening:
You’re stuck in “it’s easier if I just do it alone” mode.
Shift the mindset:
You don’t need to prove your strength through isolation.
Let support in.
Anchor in action:
Set up one playdate swap a week. Book a get together with friends. Say yes when your mate or mum offers to help.
7. Forgetting You
You’re in survival mode.
You grab crusts for lunch. Skip your stretch. Forget what you even enjoy.
What’s really happening:
You’ve deprioritised yourself out of the rhythm of your own life.
Shift the mindset:
You matter. You matter. You matter.
You’re allowed to take up time, space, and care.
Anchor in action:
Keep your anchors:
Coffee in bed
10-minute morning stretch
Music that makes you feel alive
These tiny nods whisper: I exist too.
8. Trying to Control It All
You want everything to go smoothly.
The house, your home, to be clean, fun, efficient, easy.
But every room is a mess.
There's far too much to do.
And it doesn’t feel like the fun and free summer you hoped for.
What’s really happening:
You’re trying to micromanage order and joy - but life doesn’t work that way.
Shift the mindset:
Let it be messy. Let it be imperfect. Let it be real.
Anchor in action:
Focus on how it feels, not how it looks.
Lower the bar. Raise your capacity to receive joy in the chaos.
So what now?
The secret isn’t in organising that other outing.
Or buying a better lunchbox.
Or trying that other, more colour-coded, calendar.
It’s in your mindset.
Your identity.
Your quiet belief that you’re allowed to feel good inside this life, too.
You don’t need more time.
You need a different lens.
And that lens? You can start wearing it today.
Check out my September Reset for Mums - Get Your Life Back, But Better if you want help putting this into practice now. It's on an early bird price right now! Click here
Or email me “SUMMER” to [email protected] if you want help putting this into practice now.
You don’t have to disappear during the summer.
You get to exist - and feel alive - inside it.
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